my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
