I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
