I wish my penis had an off switch
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We had sex on a dog bed..
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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