whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
