Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Randomize
