Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
