4 words: hood of his car
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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