Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
