tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
