Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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