i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
