drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
