I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Randomize
