I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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