Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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