So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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