Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
