check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
