if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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