I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
