so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
cat food counts as protein by the way
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
