I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
