We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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