I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
