ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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