Bisexual people are plain selfish.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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