But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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