don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Randomize
