Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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