I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
