i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
