the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
