plz talk dirty to me
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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