Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
then he tried to convert me to islam
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
