She went from zero to smokin in five shots
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I love having hate sex.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
