...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
