For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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