We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
