Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
so much tequila, so little girl.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
