just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
