Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
