respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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