either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
