worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
