I want to walk on stilts...naked
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
