I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Come share oat with me in your robe
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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