Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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