: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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