Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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