your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
