If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
whose parrot is this?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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